Can someone be addicted to stress? Yes you heard that right. But, why would anyone be addicted to something so unpleasant? Some of us are wired to crave stress or high-intensity environments. When things are calm and stress-free, we might feel restless, even anxious, with many thoughts racing through the mind–Did I miss something? What am I not doing?
If you find yourselves experiencing something similar and gravitating towards high-stress situations, then there is a chance that you might be experiencing stress addiction. This does not mean that you enjoy the feeling of being overwhelmed, rather that your brain might have become dependent on the various neurochemical processes triggered by stress. The “flight or fight” mode activated during stress results in the release of various neurochemicals such as adrenaline, dopamine and cortisol which create a temporary sense of energy and alertness. With prolonged exposure to these high-stress environments, stress starts to become more of a habit than a response, where your body might start to seek out these situations simply because it’s familiar regardless of its harmful impact.
Why does this happen?
The Chemical Loop: As mentioned earlier, dealing with stressful situations results in the release of dopamine–our reward hormone. This can trick our brain into associating chaos with control and productivity.
Early Conditioning: ‘Calm was never just calm, it was the calm before the strom’ If you grew up in an environment where chaos and unpredictability were a normal part of the space, your nervous system might have learned to stay hypervigilant. In such cases, calm might feel boring, unfamiliar or even unsafe.
The cultural narrative: High-stake environments and thriving under pressure are often glorified in our culture. Being “constantly busy” is equated with being valuable, while resting or taking breaks is considered unproductive or inefficient.
Signs to look out for
- Pushing tasks to the last minute: “Getting in the zone” only comes at the last minute. You find yourself procrastinating till the end until a sense of urgency kicks in.
- Feeling unsettled during downtime: Taking time off brings guilt or uneasiness.
- The urge to say yes to everything: You see yourself taking up more and more tasks despite an already full plate.
- Attracting chaos: Conflict and chaos seem to follow you in different spheres of your day to day life or you feel comfortable when things are intense.
Even if someone is subconsciously attracted to stress, the long-term effects are still harmful. A body constantly under stress can eventually experience physical and mental fatigue, even health issues. Stress can lead to feelings of burnout and constant exhaustion. Over time, this behaviour can also lead to dysfunctional relationships. This constant exposure to high-stress can cause emotional numbness, making it difficult to experience emotional richness. Hence awareness becomes the first step towards breaking this pattern.
Strategies to Break the Pattern:
Learn to regulate, not react: Employing tools to anchor yourself can help in experiencing calm without needing chaos. Strategies such as deep breathing, guided meditation or sensory grounding can help with the same.
Plan your downtime: Like how tasks are scheduled, block time on your calendar for unstructured or low stimulation activities as well. This can help in re-calibrating the nervous system.
Replace the rush with low stakes dopamine: Channel your need for stimulation into activities such as exercise, engaging hobbies or short-term challenges
Practice cognitive restructuring: Challenge narratives that glamorise chaos. From “I only work well under pressure” to “I deserve to perform well in balanced environments too”
Seek therapy: Therapy can be a good space for you to talk about the various patterns rooted in early conditioning and understand the underlying dynamics to build more sustainable coping strategies.
Stress in itself is not the enemy, as it can be a powerful motivator and survival tool. But, becoming dependent on it can be draining and exhaustive. A survival tool that once served you well might now be doing more harm than good. Hence the aim is never to completely eliminate stress but to break the dependency and to learn that you can feel fulfilled even in calm, grounded spaces.