Many individuals feel that they aren’t good at fulfilling their duties as parents, leading to guilt as a mom. Although the term refers to mothers, fathers and other caregivers are equally susceptible to experiencing mom guilt.
Mom Guilt: What is it? And why does it happen?
The term ‘mom guilt’ refers to the feelings of doubt, guilt, shame, and inadequacy that one has as a parent. This often stems from various outside influences along with persistent negative self-talk, telling yourself that you aren’t working hard enough.
Let us examine the reasons that cause mom guilt.
The tendency to compare oneself to others is one of the main causes of Mom’s guilt. For instance, observing other mothers spending time with their kids while your child continues to spend time with their gadgets instils an instant feeling of inadequacy.
Research indicates that 87% of working mothers feel guilty about their career choices and work commitments affecting their children’s overall growth and well-being. They are often torn between their inclination to continue working and their conflicting emotions regarding the decision to leave their child.
Societal norms around parenting can intensify feelings of guilt, particularly the notion that mothers are expected to be the primary caretakers.
It’s not just about children; mom guilt also translates into feelings of insufficiency in other aspects of life, such as intimacy with partners, maintaining an equilibrium between professional commitments and household responsibilities, self-nourishment, and personal wellness.
How can you overcome mom’s guilt?
Experiencing guilt can negatively affect your overall mental health resulting in mood alterations, emotional volatility, irritability, low self-esteem, lack of focus and reduced efficiency. Here are a few tips on how you can avoid these feelings;
- Don’t compare: Stop giving into the inclination to measure yourself against others. Guilt is a part of parenting, but address and recognise the situation and accept its presence. This will help in a change of viewpoint and facilitate the adoption of effective techniques to promote self-compassion and a more positive outlook.
- Prioritise Self-Care: Parenting duties and guilt make self-care difficult, which is essential for overall mental and emotional health. Set boundaries, and make time for leisure activities, hobbies, and exercise. Join support groups or talk to friends and family to recharge and lessen guilt. Remember that a psychologically and physically fit individual can better care for the family.
- Let go of unrealistic expectations: Setting realistic and achievable objectives promotes healthy and sustainable parenting. It’s alright to have good and bad days. Celebrate small wins, and be kind to yourself in case of setbacks.
- Talk to a professional: Experiencing some amount of guilt as a parent isn’t unheard of, but continued guilt hinders overall well-being. Seeking professional guidance can prove beneficial in addressing underlying causes of mom guilt by providing a safe and judgement-free space to talk freely.
In conclusion, mom guilt is a difficult and often challenging emotion, but it does not have to rule your life. There are different parenting styles, and yet there is not one that is perfect. Be kind to yourself, let go of unrealistic expectations of perfectionism, and focus on progress instead. With the right strategies and a supportive environment, you can achieve balance for your family while navigating mom guilt. Be confident as a mother, knowing your efforts are helping your child and, you are doing the best you can.