You probably would have seen it happen around you, people updating their LinkedIn headline three times in a week, worried it doesn’t sound distinctive or out of the ordinary. Even teenagers who spend hours editing a photo or rewriting a caption, just to make it “different” enough to stand out. All of this is often driven by our subtle yet powerful fear of being ordinary. This fear isn’t new but in today’s culture of comparison, it feels sharper than ever.
At our core, humans are wired for belonging. For most of human history, survival depended on being part of a group. Over time, though, our survival need to “fit in” started competing with another drive- the urge to stand out. In the process, we constantly measure ourselves against others to judge where we stand. While social comparison once helped us improve or adapt, in today’s world of global connectivity, it often leaves us feeling behind. If belonging
makes us feel safe, uniqueness makes us feel validated.
Social media has supercharged our fear of ordinariness. Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube are designed to highlight the boldest, prettiest, funniest, or most extreme moments. When you open them, you are not just seeing your friends but a very carefully edited highlight reel of millions of people. For teenagers, whose sense of self is still developing, the amount of likes, shares and comments start to feel like critical markers of value. A post with fewer reactions
than a friend can easily be misread as proof of being less interesting.
Adults aren’t immune either. Many of us package our parenting styles, hobbies, or career achievements into content for public validation. Platforms like LinkedIn overflow with “success stories” that can leave people quietly questioning if they’re falling behind. When everyone is performing uniqueness, being “ordinary” starts to feel more like failure.
The chase to avoid ordinariness comes with consequences. Constant comparison drains self-esteem and creates an exhausting cycle of self-presentation. This strive for uniqueness can lead to:
Setting unrealistic standards: Attempting to be extraordinary in every domain- looks,career, lifestyle can set standards that are impossible to achieve or maintain.
Identity confusion: In the struggle to stand out, we may change ourselves or shift our interests too often, that we lose touch with our real selves.
Emotional exhaustion: By closely tying self-worth to external validation, we often leave ourselves vulnerable to the highs of attention and the lows of indifference.
Ironically, it’s often the “ordinary” moments that give our lives real depth and meaning.
Redefining uniqueness
Most of us grow up hearing the advice, “Be yourself,” as though it’s the simplest thing in the world. In this world with curated feeds and extraordinary stories, “being yourself” can start to feel like another performance. As it is often tied to how exceptional or unique you can be.When uniqueness is measured by attention rather than authenticity, it can erode self-worth and blur our true sense of identity.
A way to redefine uniqueness is to start anchoring yourself in values and not trends. Trends are ever-changing, what is praised today can feel outdated tomorrow. Attaching our sense of self to something like that can leave us feeling unmoored and exhausted. Instead of questioning what might make you stand out, start thinking about what actually matters to you and whether you would still do the same if nobody saw it. This will eventually help in shifting your decisions out of the realm of performance and into the realm of authenticity. When you act from deeply held values and principles, it also builds resilience. You’re less swayed by the dopamine rush of likes or fleeting approval and you start to enjoy trends without feeling defined by them. This isn’t about withdrawing from the digital world but about engaging with it more intentionally.
Something that gets lost in the race to be unique is the quiet power of consistency. Even though it may seem invisible, it’s one of the most underrated forces that shapes both identity and impact. While trends, moods, and online attention fluctuate wildly, consistency gives people and yourself something to trust. This consistency or steadiness also protects your mental health. When you anchor yourself in small, repeated practices whether that’s daily journaling, setting aside time for real conversations, or revisiting long-term goals, you build a sense of stability in a chaotic environment. Over time, the repeated choices you make become part of your signature. In an age obsessed with being instantly different, the quiet power of consistency may be the most radical and enduring form of uniqueness you can cultivate.
Originality doesn’t always have to be distant or dramatic- a bold artistic statement, or a radical lifestyle choice that sets us apart from the crowd. You don’t have to manufacture originality, every one of us already carries an unrepeatable combination of experiences, perspectives, talents, and quirks. Your upbringing, struggles, joys, and even the ways you’ve learned to cope have shaped a lens on the world that nobody else has. Your way of thinking
and creativity is already one of a kind even if it doesn’t look flashy on the outside.
Recognizing that originality is already within you shifts everything. It invites you to stop searching outward and start noticing the quiet threads of what you naturally do, think, and love. When you act from your core values and express your natural strengths, your uniqueness surfaces without effort. You discover that your originality was never missing; it was waiting for you to notice it.